Confidence is critical when applying for jobs, preparing for an interview, or negotiating for a raise. But when you’re working in a dysfunctional workplace or for a hostile manager, confidence is often in short supply.

You can feel stuck. Incompetent. A failure. At least that’s how I felt when it happened to me.

During my first professional job after college, I worked for a manager who criticized everything I did. I was hired as a writer, but the constant negative feedback made me question each word I typed.

I lost my confidence. I lost my passion for writing. I started to hate myself, my job, and my boss. And I really hated Sunday nights, because I knew I’d be back at work just a few hours later.

After nine months of this, I had reached my limit. I was depressed, I couldn’t sleep, and my stomach was in knots all the time. I had to get out, even though I didn’t have another job lined up. I gave my notice.

I told my boss that she made me feel like nothing I did was good enough. She was genuinely surprised to hear how I felt. She had no idea how much I was struggling, or how much her persistent disapproval impacted me. Looking back now, I realize I should have spoken up much sooner. But back then, I was still learning how to advocate for myself and use my voice.

I eventually found a job at a mission-driven nonprofit with incredibly supportive management. But the funny thing was, when I received positive feedback on my writing, I thought people were saying it just to be nice…not because I deserved it.

My confidence had taken quite a beating during those nine months.

It took a while to start believing in myself again, but working in a healthy environment with caring, dedicated people helped. Of course, this company wasn’t perfect (the salary was terrible, for one thing). But it got me back on track.

If you are feeling stuck, disempowered, and burnt out because of a toxic office culture or manager, you are not alone. Just remember that it’s the company or leadership that’s broken, NOT YOU. Find a way out as soon as you can – and if you can’t leave without another job lined up, get as much emotional and practical support as you can while you search.

Leaving a bad job or manager definitely isn’t easy. But your body, mind, and spirit will thank you for years to come.

I help job seekers increase their confidence by rediscovering their strengths and talents. I also provide strategies for self-advocacy in the workplace.  Schedule your free, 30-minute consultation to learn more.